I am the quintessential Type A Control Freak Introvert who has lived on the edge of anxiety for most of my life. There is a drive towards perfectionism that I have been attempting to reduce because quite frankly it’s an exhausting way to live. I do have a hyper overthinking mind and for a long time I felt I had to slow this part of me down…but that did not seem authentic to me at all.
I’m not sure where I first came across the term ‘soft life’ or ‘soft living’ but it had an immediate appeal to me and I wondered if this was something I could embrace without relinquishing those parts of me that I valued. (And quite frankly, my Type A over-productive nature has served me…and my employers over the years, well).
Over the past few years there has been such a glorification of hustle culture that I did buy into for a while (I’ve been attempting a side hustle for about ten years…it’s been a process…) but now I can’t be bothered. It’s frankly too much for me. I don’t mind ‘hustling’ when it’s something meaningful to me and I really want to be productive…but I don’t want to be doing it in every area of my life. The concept of soft living has emerged as an antithesis of hustle culture. It is about creating a life of ease, balance and living intentionally. As an introvert, this kind of lifestyle isn’t really a luxury rather it is a necessity. A soft life represents a decision made consciously to step away from unnecessary stress and pressures from society and a step towards prioritising well being, personal fulfilment and dare I write it…inner peace.
Soft living is a challenge to the notion portrayed online that success has to come from constant hard work, sacrifice and social obligations. Rather, it promotes the idea that a fulfilling life can be attained through a focus on self care, setting boundaries and putting one’s well being first. As an introvert, I naturally draw energy from solitude and introspection so crafting a reality that aligns with these needs instead of external pressures is really appealing!
Living a soft life lifestyle encourages us to reject toxic productivity and replace it with engagement in activities that genuinely bring joy and contentment.
A soft life for introverts will involve setting boundaries that protect our energy - so we don’t overextend ourselves in draining environments. For me, this means choosing more meaningful connections and developing deep relationships rather than socialising for society’s sake for example. Cultivating a space that allows for peace, us introverts can recharge and function at our best as we can avoid the burnout that usually accompanies expectations of constant productivity and go-go-go attitudes. Being able to say no to activities that do not serve us is empowering and a vital aspect of living a soft life.
Embracing soft living means valuing rest and relaxation. I must admit I sometimes still struggle with resting and relaxing as I do occasionally feel the need to be productive. I am getting better at this but I grew up in an environment that was all about doing something or another so as not to be lazy. I am intentionally practicing letting this go.
Introverts find solace in activities that bring joy and tranquility. A calm morning with a cup of tea. Partaking in solo activity hobbies. Curating a calm home environment. Setting down in the evening with a good book. These small yet intentionally created significant moments contribute to overall well being and allow us to live life on our own terms. Engaging in mindful practices like journaling, meditation and walking in nature can provide us with the space to reflect and recharge.
Truly embracing a soft life extends beyond personal habits and routines though. It is about creating a lifestyle that is sustainable and aligned with one’s authentic self. I would say this includes making career choices that prioritise a work life balance for example. Since the Pandemic hybrid working has become more commonplace and is a wonderful way to achieve a balance in all areas of one’s life. Surrounding ourselves with understanding and supporting individuals is important. I like to ensure people understand I am an introvert and, maybe due to my age, I’m confident in saying when I don’t want to socialise.
Embracing minimalism in all areas of life is another way to embrace the soft life concept. Keep things nice and simple and reduce overwhelming choices. Embracing ease and intentionality, we introverts can cultivate a lifestyle that even the Type A Control Freak elements of our personalities can get on board with!By choosing rest over burnout (been there many times…I’m really over it…), solitude instead of social pressures (I’m getting better at setting boundaries) and authenticity over people pleasing (it’s a challenge I’ll admit), we can thrive in life in a way that feels more natural and fulfilling.
The soft life is about authenticity…it’s an encouragement to honour our true natures. I would encourage you to grab a pen and paper and write out from your heart really what lifestyle you want, that takes into consideration your family and career responsibilities and then start adding soft life elements where possible.The journey towards a soft life is a process and it is personal. Relinquishing long term habits of living with pressure is taking me time but I’m committed to crafting a soft life for myself.
Things to consider:
Have a think about what living a soft life means for you.
Make a list of some small changes you can realistically make to move towards living your version of a soft life. Take inspired action to implement the changes.
If you like, please print the Soft Life Workbook. These worksheets are designed to be both reflective and actionable to help you explore how to live a softer, more peaceful life while honouring your introverted nature. They also encourage self-care and conscious boundary setting, making it easier to embrace rest and find joy in simplicity.